Bean Update #6

Beautiful sisters on Superbowl Sunday:

41+2 a new record:

Well, we're into our 10th month with this little boy, and I really can't believe we have made it this far. I was positive I was to have a January baby, allowing 6 days over my due date to deliver...but that was not God's plan for me. Now, here we sit at February 4th twiddling or thumbs and just waiting to meet the little guy.
The thing that is so baffling is that I charted so well for this babe. About 2 weeks ago, I started pouring over my NFP chart and using all this exponential data that I thought gave me a special peek into a potential birth date. I knew conception days, implantation bleed date, temperature rise and of course LMP and positive test day. But alas, this baby has outwitted my best attempts to determine his arrival. It's crazy because I knew Madeleine was coming June 2. I thought Gracen would arrive November 12. How could I have been so accurate with those babies and not with this one? It was becoming a little obsession; once I hit February, it's just one day after the next, after the next of being pregnant. Oh well...how much longer could he be in there right? And actually, I have a book club meeting on Tuesday which I never thought I would make, but it looks like I might be able to join.

We went to our friends' house, the Shields, to watch the Superbowl. It was a last minute invite and we were glad to hang out with them. They have 4 kids ranging from 16 to 4 months and they all run around and play. The game was fun to watch and of course, one or two of the commercials were well-done. The half-time show was disappointing narcissism, but what can you expect? My favorite was the Budweiser "Clydesdale Brotherhood" commercial. I was surprised that the executives would spend so much money to highlight horses.

Just a little update on how baby is progressing. Not too much going on, a few contractions...I don't usually do internal exams, so I have no idea where I'm at dilation-wise. No progressive pains, we could be in month 6 for all it feels like, other than the enormous belly. Try putting a small watermelon in your belly and then bending over and you get the idea. The only thing that is on the radar is Kaiser's position on induction. Not quite sure how far they will let us go. Fortunately, the Dr dated the pregnancy EDD for 1/30, which means that we get more time to spontaneously erupt before they start talking induction.

Keep us in your prayers as we seek joy, peace and rest in being a family of 4 for a few more days.
Love, Lauren

Bean Update # 5

Well, it's been about 13 weeks since the last update, so I figure I should do another!

Here's the belly at 32 weeks:

 Here at 33+1:

How far along? 36 weeks (9 months! 34 days --or fewer-- to go!)

EDD: January 31st- it will happen.

Total weight gain:21 lbs.

Maternity clothes? getting tighter

Stretch marks?no new ones yet

Sleep: I had to start sleeping on a little bit of an incline because I can't really catch my breath when supine

Miss Anything? being able to bend over and not get winded

Movement: this child is trying to reposition my insides!

Food cravings: sugar and alcohol

Anything making you queasy or sick: all the movement- rollercoaster from the inside

Gender: still a boy, I hope...

Labor Signs: Ribbons of sensation...I remember having it with Gracen too. It's like the most miniscule ripening of the cervix that will continue over the next 5 weeks until delivery.

Symptoms: Typical irritability and boredom with the pregnancy. Trying to hold off the feeling of being "done".

Belly Button in or out? in, never does pop.

Wedding rings on or off? on. with the cold weather, I have to keep turning my engagement ring to stay right-side up

Happy or Moody most of the time: I think happy, my family thinks moody.

Looking forward to: Saturday, January 12th (baby shower!)

Tim "the gun" Bergon

My husband and I dialogue:

Tim: "Your birthday present is shipping from Banglaore."
Me: "Um-Hmm."
Tim: "It's coming from India."
Me: "Hmm...well, if it's coming from India, I am sure you paid more than $3.99 to have it shipped."
Tim: "Well, it is and I'm not sari about it."

I can't remember this one word for word, but it went something like this:

Tim: "I want Kraft Parmesan."
Me: "We always get that; I like the more authentic stuff."
Tim: "But I like Kraft and the one we have is the same stuff that Carl gets at the station. So, when I'm at work, I have to use it there too and it doesn't make my lunch as enjoyable. And then I'm grumpy and it upsets my whole day and that effects my job performance. This is serious; people could die if my job performance is effected."
Me: blank stare

Me: "Fine, I'll get you Kraft."

This one was from a while ago:

Madeleine: Dada, why are we stopping for gas?
Tim: Because we need just a few gallons, we can't drive out to wine country and run out of gas...then we'll have to put wine in the car...and we already have enough whine in the car."

And there was another great one from last night that I cannot remember! Ugh, I will ask Tim what made me laugh and post it. Anyways, hope this makes you chuckle a little.
Love, Lauren

October 2012

The month in review:

After Tim returned from his luxurious vacation to Texarakana, TX for 5 days, we settled down into our last month in Bergon Palms. (Ok, he actually went to help his parents move his grandparents into an assisted care facility. His Aunt Lyn lives in Fort Worth area and they needed to be closer so she could better assist them. Grandma Stewart -- Tim's paternal great-grandmother & 103 years old-- also made the move, so now all 3 grandparents are in the same facility. Tim met his parents in Texarkana to pack up the home. He, Aunt Lyn and his parents worked endlessly the entire time to sort, box, ship and organize Grandpa & Grandma Bergon's home down into an apartment. It was a lot of work...for both of us. It was also the longest we have been apart.)

It was still way too hot for Fall, so we spent our last few weeks in Vintage Hills enjoying the community pool:

 Tim was home, but had to work, so the girls and I drove up to Orange to see Unky Lex installed as worship pastor:

Then, things started to get a little silly around our house as we hunted for a new rental, gave our 30 days notice and studied non-stop for the engineer's test:

 I ordered 24 additional 18 gallon purple Rubbermaid bins (I think we own close to 60 now) and started the packing process (again):

 We went a little crazy:

 But thankfully we love each other, and we have lots of loved ones around who helped us with our move:

Tim and I took a preemptive anniversary trip to Temecula Creek Inn just to clear our heads and find some focus as a couple. At this point we still did not have a rental lined up, but we spent a lot of time in prayer and enjoying each other:

 5 years and still "retarded* for each other":

We managed to almost completely ignore our children throughout the month by packing, looking for a rental and generally being super exhausted/busy, but we felt guilty enough to take them out for some "Harvest activities" to counter our attempts to totally disrupt our home life (I'm joking...kinda):

 What is it about snuggling a barn animal that is so satisfying?:

 Ha ha ha, guess who's learning the art of the goof:

 Because a mall parking lot is not farmy enough, we took them to Peltzer Pumpkin Farm too. By this time, Gracen was spending most days in the cat costume:

 G's favorite goat:

my life, in a corn maze: 

 Dada & baby:

And as if we didn't have enough going on, Dada got the itch to go to the mountains. I woke up and he said, "Woman, I'm taking the children to the mountains today." and I thought "Really? Ok, well at least I can do the laundry then."

 So, it was off to Garner Valley with a stop at Hurkey Creek playground:

 Which is awesome:

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.”

- John Muir

Then, we finally got to wear our "Ariel" mermaid costume. After reading the Disney Princess Bedtime Stories book, we are now throughly acquainted with princesses. I'm not too pleased, but it appears inevitable. I'm just glad Gracie went along with being the kitty because I'm cheap when it comes to costumes. I was so proud of Madeleine who, last year, wouldn't even go up to the doors. She shuffled in her costume, held her candy basket the whole way and even said "Trick or treat". After the first few houses, she would turn to me and say "Mama, I did it, I said trick or treat". She was a champ all night. 

 Cousin Katie, Aunt Sally and Nani came with us (Tim worked):

 Gracie did a great job too, and she told me every house that her Hello Kitty andy bucket was "heavy". I carried her some of the way, but that didn't last too long with the bulging belly. It was really fun to see them branching out and of course, the sister interaction is always precious (and sometimes precocious). 

That was our October in gist. We did secure a house near the end of October and moved in...but that's the next post.

Love, Lauren 

*some people are offended at the use of the term retarded. If you are, I apologize...this is actually part of a quote from Mallrats that Tim and I have used for a while.

Online Garage Sale

Okay, it finally struck me that we are moving in 25 days. So, check out our stuffs.

Silk flowers. White blossoms, green verigated, blue hyacinth, and maroon weepings. $5 for all

cute little silver lantern- door opens $3

 Bamboo coasters (set of 10) $3

 I adore this shirt, but honestly, I got a few eyebrows last time I wore it. I thought it was innocent and fun, but my husband (and the men at Winco) confirmed that it's a bit sexually charged. Have a cheeky/sexy friend? Motherhood Maternity size Large "burn out" design shirt in Navy. "good things come to those who mate..." how can you think badly of that?!

Retired Princess House "Heritage" lot. 7 wine, 5 champagne, 1 snifter, 1 vase and 1 salt & pepper shaker (without lids-not shown) $100 takes all/obo

Like new! Nike Rival MD III track spikes. I coached track for one season and thought I needed shoes (not!). Unisex sz 8 (men's) but I wear a solid women's 9 and they fit. Red & Pearl White. $40/obo

Steven Madden "Erica" sz8. Not sure why they fit me (like I said, I'm a 9). Natural leather wedge.

Cuisinart fondue set- used once because I felt obligated. All manual, pieces and box included. $20/obo. 

Brown Paisley couches with pull-out sofa. Very firm and lots of pillows. $400/obo

 Loveseat

No idea how I obtained this, and looks brand-new. Collectable? Simpson's Clue game $15/obo

Feel free to pass any of these on to someone who might be interested, and keep checking back for more stuff as we try and unload. I'm in a HUGE purge mood. So if there's something you've always wanted in our house- ask now! ;)
Love, Lauren

Bean Update #4

Tim was a wonderful husband and made it his priority to take my 22 week picture, I am not sure why I don't look bigger, I really don't know why the "round, fat belly" (as Madeleine calls it) isn't showing up in these pictures! When you see me in real life I am bigger. I think I'm huge lately. At our 20 week ultrasound, the tech said she thought Bean was about 12oz. (a can of soda). Of course, we also found out we were having a boy! Can you believe it!? I shed a little tear of disbelief and happiness; Tim never cries, but some dust flew in his eyes too. God's so awesome to us. Of course, I was a little sad at losing the potential of a third girl, I had a name all picked out, but this is what God wants, and what we all wanted too. 

How far along? 23 weeks

EDD: LMP suggests January 25th ; Kaiser says Jan 30th, I am hoping for January 31st (I can will myself into labor right?) MJ was due May 25th and came on the 2nd. Not sure if this babe will be different with different gender. Grace was only 6 days "overdue" due the 7th, came the 13th. I think 1/31/13 is totally doable for this little guy. 

Total weight gain: 9 lbs.- still not exercising...being lazy, I guess.
Maternity clothes? oh yea!
Stretch marks? please...I've had them since I was 14, they're proof of power :)
Sleep: could be good, if i went to bed earlier than 12am
Miss Anything? beer, beer and beer.
Movement: Tons: baby is super active lately and especially at night. sometimes, he keeps me up.
Food cravings: breyer's cookies & cream ice cream 2/$6 at Albertsons and distilled water, though i quit drinking it after reading that it can strip your body of minerals.
Anything making you queasy or sick: i get super hungry, then gorge, then feel sick. my eyes are way bigger than my mouth, but i let so much time elapse between meals it's hard not to stuff.
Gender: BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy cow, we're having a little man!
Labor Signs: Thankfully none.
Symptoms: I thought I was supposed to have energy in the 2nd trimester? I'm just plain exhausted all the time. Oh, and how is it possible to be this hungry all the time? Wow.
Belly Button in or out? in, never does pop.
Wedding rings on or off? on. my ring is still slipping a bit, might have to re-size it after baby.
Happy or Moody most of the time: moodily happy?
Looking forward to: Monday, October 1st 

In other news, our lease is not being renewed, so we have to be out of our house sometime (not sure when). At first, we were asked to be out by October 31st, but we said we'd need more time. Tim is already super stressed studying for the Engineer test at work Oct 5th, and he will be helping his grandparent's move this week. We had an 18-day RV vacation planned for mid-November, but that might be the time that we are moving. Not our first choice, but blessed that the Lord foresaw our situation and granted us that time off. Everything feels incredibly unsettled and disjointed. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. The baby is definitely taking a back seat to all the other pressures we're facing as a family. The thought of packing and moving again in about a month or two is a bummer, but I'm fine with it, I know the Lord is faithful and true to our family. I trust Him. 

Love, Lauren

Green Bean Update #3

This is the last green bean update. In only 10 days (start the countdown) we'll get the chance to take a little peek at our growing babe. Hopefully he or she will cooperate and we'll know...I don't know why it matters so much, it just does.

19 weeks + 1 day:

It's bigger in real life. Not sure why. Not much to report other than I'm still totally excited and so amazed that I am co-creating and carrying life! It still blows my mind to know that there is this little growing person inside of me with predetermined genetic code (gender too!). I was praying this morning, thanking the Father for allowing me to be guardian to these little lives. Practicing gratitude for every day that I get to have Bean because He could choose to take them from me. They are ultimately His, and so I want to be ever thankful for the days I get. Of course, this attitude is easier to maintain with the babe in the belly than with the two out of belly. But, growing a new life keeps my perspective on the ones I've already delivered. So, I try a little bit more patience, a little bit more grace with Mads and G, because I still feel about them the way I feel about this new life. 

I had a long conversation with my midwife. Tim was supposed to be at a class the Monday I had my appointment, but as I was taking my blood pressure, I hear his voice outside the door. Can I just totally brag on my loving husband that he left his class early to surprise me and be at our appointment? He ALWAYS makes the effort to be there with me, and as I think back on all our pre-natal visits, I can remember only a few appointments (mostly with my midwife at home) where he wasn't able to make it. 

Anyways, it was good because I had a bullet list of talking points for my CNM and thankfully, I was her last patient of the day. After reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, I wanted to get a feel for basic hospital protocol upon arrival. Things like a blood draw, heparin lock or IV placement, electronic fetal monitoring and urine analysis are all standard. I asked if there was a time limit on labor and delivery. I asked to meet the other midwives who might deliver me. I wondered if she felt pressure to adhere to the medical model and to what extent she felt she supported the midwifery model. 

I think the most important concept I have taken away from my readings and from my own experience is the idea that fear, or the perception of fear, has a incredible impact on delivery. Gaskin's calls this the law of the sphincter. She has found medical books, anecdotes and literature from the 1800s that attest to this phenomenon. Attendants were advised to not startle the patient, nor walk in on them suddenly for fear that the sudden shock of being caught in a position of vulnerability would reverse the labor of the woman. The best way to akin it is like a gazelle who is birthing in the wild: if she is suddenly attacked, God has mercifully allowed the animal to retract the spawn back into the uterus in order to escape with a live baby. But this is not just biological animalistic behavior. These doctors of which I spoke earlier recorded several instances when the laboring mother was deep into delivery and because of the disturbance of the male doctor and a sudden presence that made her uncomfortable, labor ceased and one doctor recorded that it did not start again for 2 weeks. And I'm not talking Braxton-Hicks here, the records show that the delivery was immanent. As I talk to friends--one who was told not to deliver because her doctor was not there and then watched as 4 nurses stepped back and stood watching, and to another who delivered in the back of an ambulance-- they attest that although labor was bearing down (literally) on them, they did not feel safe enough to "release" their baby until they were assured that someone was there to catch him or assist them.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine that fear could cause such a reversal, especially for woman who have felt the overwhelming urge to push their babies out, but imagine sitting in a circle of 6 people with a bowl in the middle and being told that the first one to poop in it will get $50.00. Or, have you ever been in a bathroom stall that does not lock and realized how the little fear of being walked in upon effects your ability to use your sphincter? This is the theory that Gaskins presents: the same laws apply to anus, bladder and birth canal. Many a labor has been draw beyond its natural course due to fear. I believe my 30+ hour with Madeleine was effected by fear. With Gracen, I was doing great until we transported and I lost it. I lost my coach who was having to drive (and fast) and there was a lot of fear because of circumstances, not because of my own body. But, I ramble. Read the book for yourself, it's one of those things that you read and go, "Duh, why doesn't everyone know this?" Well, medicine is politics, and if you watched the RNC then you can see how commonsense can be overruled by those who have the most money. Hospitals make money. Doctors make money. Why do they want you to do naturally what they can help you do and make a lots more money. She needs pitocin, ch-ching; she needs a blood draw, ch-chaing; she needs an epidural...well the anesthesiologist just bought an Audi, so let's get him in here. ch-ching. 

But, there is a revolution rising. I just found out about the Improving Birth Rally taking place all over the nation and there is a group in Murrieta. https://www.facebook.com/events/111811415632626/ or you can visit the national site http://www.improvingbirth.org/

Birth matters. Do you believe that? Do you believe that the way that the mother brings her children into the world absolutely impacts both in ways they don't fathom? There are reasons to induce; there are reasons to c-section. But, for the majority of healthy, pregnant women like me the most empowering and effective birth for me and my baby is one that values us, not the litigious or monetary interests of my hospital, caregiver or insurance company. I encourage all women, but particularly pregnant ones to research alternatives to the procedures of the medical model. Question why they are asking you to do the things you do. And remember the 4 magic words:                    I do not consent. 

Love, Lauren