I went on vacation, and didn't take a computer with me. Therefore, without any more pause, letters 14-18.
The cliche thing to say would be "I don't know why we drifted apart." But, if we are both honest, we could probably pinpoint the exact issue that caused us to take a step back. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was just easier to turn away in the face of such confusion. It doesn't really matter, because I'm saddened at this dark weave in the unraveling of our bind. It was never my intention to harm or to dismiss you, I've asked you to forgive me; of course, you did. We're both self-preserving and we have too much history to just torch the bridge between us. Yet, it's not the same. Do you know why I even told you? It's because he had told some secrets he should not have told, and I wanted to make you feel safe, safe enough to find forgiveness for your mistake. I thought if I opened up and let you look around in my own wretched heart, you might open up too. I saw this joining confession in our friendship digging roots deeper; I was surprised to find myself uprooted. Now, there are joyous times upon us. We are drifting closer, for a moment. But, I fear we will never regain what we had. (Maybe I am assuming too much, and the whispers that speak of separation never enter your mind). Perhaps geography is our excuse, perhaps seasons...please know; I want to tell you...I think of you with hopefully waiting, that someday tides will change and we will find ourselves once again floating through life side by side.
Love, Lauren
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